Dead Island - First Impressions

Hey, everyone!

                I know it's been a while since I've made a post, and I'm sorry. I spent a while getting ready to move to Cleveland for my new career, and I've finally settled in enough to pick up a new game and give it a first impressions review. So, without further preamble, I give you Dead Island.

                Ah, the island of Banoi, a fictional paradise off the coast of New Guinea, and a beautiful setting for the surreal horror of Dead Island. After the fantastically put together opening cinematic, featuring the talents of Josef Lord performing the Dead Island theme “Who Do You Voodoo (Bitch)”, a catchy tune, and a fitting performance for the party that Logan (the drunkard you’re viewing the party through) stumbles through.

                After the breathtaking cinematic, you’re able to choose your character. I went with Logan since I particularly liked his brash attitude in the voice over that was provided for his personal history. After your character choice, you’re treated to your character awakening in his (or her) hotel room in the Royal Palms.

                Quickly, you’re thrust into the world of Banoi and the horror that lies therein. As you search through the darkened hotel for any sort of useful objects (money, items to upgrade your weapons or trade for more money, bandages) or any survivors. Eventually you’re greeted by a soothing, disembodied voice inviting you to get the hell out of the hotel. You’re ushered into the elevator shaft, where you pry open the top of an elevator and leap in, plummeting six floors, before you’re able to get out of the cab (at the behest of the same voice).

                After you have an exciting chase with the undead (these are the running zombies, similar to Zack Snyder’s 2004 revival of Dawn of the Dead) you’re knocked cold by a zombie and awaken in the “care” of the Royal Palms’ doctor. I’ll leave that scene spoiler free. Once you’re up and about, however, you’re free to pick up a weapon and head out of the hut you’ve found yourself (and a myriad of other survivors) in.

                All in all, I think Dead Island is an extremely solid game. The drop-in/drop-out system for multiplayer seems quite intuitive (though I haven’t played with anyone yet, enjoying the game in single player too much) as I’ve encountered several people who are ‘nearby’ that I could ‘join’. The customization of weapons is hilariously fun. I’ve already made a baseball bat studded with nails just begging to be embedded in a wayward zombie’s head.

                Play the game. Play it a lot. Play it until your fingers bleed and your eyes have long since gone useless.

The "Straight Male Demographic"?

Recently it came to my attention that a fan of BioWare was disgruntled about the fact that Dragon Age 2 had male characters hitting on the main character (in this case a male). 


The Escapist led me to the BioWare forums where David Gaider tore the gamer a new one for his homophobia, and I honestly cannot be prouder of Gaider. I just wanted to applaud the man publicly for his stance on the reality that (I know this may be a shocker for some) not all gamers are male, and, if they are, not all of them are straight.


We're not all straight males in the gaming community. Why is this such a hard concept to grasp? The fact that BioWare has made a game that actually has wide appeal (and it isn't the first time that this has happened, Dragon Age: Origins had bisexual characters) is, I think, a step in the right direction. 


The person that originally posted the topic "Bioware Neglected Their Main Demographic: The Straight Male Gamer" put his thoughts in an eloquent, if misinformed manner, and was thoroughly chewed up and spit out by David Gaider in probably one of the most amusing ways I could possibly think of.


Kudos to you, Mr. Gaider, this just reaffirms my life's goal of one day working for BioWare.

Stop With The Shaky Camera Already!

I know I'm not the only one who's annoyed with this.


I can't be.


I can't imagine a time or place where shoddy camera work or really crappy stability of a camera could be misconstrued as a "gritty action sequence." If I can't see anything happening in a shot, I personally grow angry. If I wanted horrid camera work, I'd watch a wedding home video.


I started this post because I wanted to watch the Bourne trilogy, a very solid series of films that should stand as in the top ten of all trilogies ever made...and I just can't watch Supremacy or Ultimatum. 


Why? Because of the shaky damn camera work in every single fight scene of the Supremacy and Ultimatum. The reason for this shaky camera work is the changing of directors from Doug Liman in Identity, to Paul Greengrass for Supremacy and Ultimatum.


I respect Greengrass as a director, the rest of Supremacy and Ultimatum? Fantastic. Just top notch filmmaking, with a great director at the helm.


The man just cannot do action scenes properly.


Doug Liman did an excellent job with Identity, allowing for the fight choreographer's work to stand for itself, and the actors and stunt men to do their jobs. The scene where Jason Bourne stabs a man with a simple Bic ballpoint pen? I couldn't stop laughing. I had to go back at least four times the first time I watched that scene just to see Bourne stab the living hell out of another man with a Bic pen.


But with Greengrass' directing in Supremacy and Ultimatum, it just made every fight scene (one of the main draws of these films, let's face it) unwatchable. 


This vexes me.

Dragon Age 2: First Impressions

I came home this evening to a beautiful sight: an unopened manilla, padded envelope with a shrink-wrapped copy of Dragon Age 2 nestled inside sitting on my front porch. I picked up the envelope and hurried inside, tearing that envelope open with a speed only matched by the desire to play the game.

I slapped that disc into my XBox and sat down to play a very promising game. Dragon Age 2 opens with one of several cut scenes involving a clean-shaven dwarf and a Seeker of the Chantry. What follows is an engrossing story and a brief interlude of your new character, Hawke, being thrown into the fray following the tale the dwarf is weaving to the Seeker.

Combat is VERY changed from Dragon Age: Origins. Gone is turn-based combat. This game is fast-paced, with your attack button (in this case A on the XBox 360) judging your swing speed, and however fast you can tap your thumb. It is by no means a button-masher, however. You have your switchable list of abilities (your original three set to the X, Y and B on your 360, and an alternate three abilities that can be activated with these buttons and holding the right trigger.) that can be used any time they're not on cooldown. 

The music, as with any BioWare game is top notch, with an engaging, enriching score that will keep your blood pumping and your thumb not far from the attack button. 

Dialogue trees are unchanged from the original and the Mass Effect games. Why fix something that isn't broken? 

The sound effects and visual effects are brutal. Playing as a rogue, I was just flailing away with a pair of daggers, hacking down Darkspawn as if Hawke had a pair of chopsaws for hands. Blood, gore and chunks of Darkspawn littered the landscape (and my character's face). 

Blood, as with the original Dragon Age flies everywhere. Your character, dog, sister, brother and mother are almost always covered in it, and the Darkspawn appear to have fire hoses in place of veins. While this may not be entirely unrealistic, it certainly is over the top, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The voice acting is top-notch, and your character finally has a voice! No longer do we have the silent, dummy expressions for our characters, and we can watch them fully realized on the screen. While it may not be what we personally would say in such situations, the folks over at BioWare have given us a decent interpretation of what could be said in such circumstances.

All in all, I'm really very happy with the way Dragon Age 2 turned out (so far, I've only played for a half hour, and I have a much longer review planned later) and I can't wait to see how the story goes. 

If you haven't gotten your hands on it yet, hop to!

A Gem of an RPG

This is kind of a dark time for gaming. Early in the year, no real games coming out since Christmas, the companies want to give the folks a little time to replenish their monetary supply for the upcoming spring and summer titles. 

This means I really don't have much to do in the way of gaming until that time. So I look to the XBox Marketplace and the Wii Marketplace for some sort of relief from the monotony. And that's when I found Final Fantasy IV: The After Years.

At first I was curious when I saw it on the Nintendo Wii's marketplace. "Final Fantasy IV was a hell of a game... the After Years?" I read the description, and it turns out it was a direct sequel to FFIV!

Hell yeah, I downloaded it as fast as I could. It was only 800 points, which is about $8 when thinking in terms of real monetary value. How could I possibly go wrong with a Final Fantasy that only costs eight bucks?

I was more right than I could've imagined. Set 17 years after Final Fantasy for, you play as Cecil and Rosa's son, Ceodore, a young candidate for the Red Wings whom Cecil so famously began his career with. Constantly reminded of his lineage, Ceodore is tired of hearing of Cecil the Paladin and Rosa the White Mage. He wants to be his own man, and sets out to do so.

Just as he's beginning his quest, however, Ceodore and company realize that the moon, which was made whole by the actions of Cecil, Rosa and company, has split, revealing itself to be two moons, and the tower of Babil has grown from deep beneath the surface of the planet once again.

What follows is an engrossing, engaging storyline that is a worth successor to the Final Fantasy IV legacy, full of magic, intrigue and the charming presentation of a Super Nintendo title complete with the fun midi music and character sprites that filled me with a nostalgia that didn't break its hold for a second.

If you've got the time, and an extra eight bucks lying around, I highly recommend picking up Final Fantasy IV: The After Years on the Nintendo Wii. And if you don't have a Wii, I'm just awfully surprised.

A Career-Oriented Gripe

I know this topic has probably been done to death considering the recent economic woes that most have been experiencing, but I really do have a legitimate gripe. It's more of a Catch-22 in this case with regards to the complete and total inability to find a job as a recent college graduate.

I graduated Magna Cum Laude from DeVry University in October of last year with a Bachelor's degree in Game and Simulation Programming with a 3.7 GPA. I'm not at all trying to brag about my accomplishment, I'm just stating a fact here.

I've been working at Office Depot for a year and four months now, and while I do enjoy the job, the people and the work. I cannot stand the fact that I have a degree that is essentially going to waste. I've been searching for work for five months, and still haven't found anything. 

I know this is the current state of this country and of most of the world, the economy is in the toilet and we're all feeling the pinch.

The problem isn't the economy, I don't think that's slowly, ever so slowly turning around. The problem is the fact that no one's really willing to take a chance. They're looking for experience, three years or more. 

My question is this: How can I ever pick up experience if I'm not able to land a job in the first place?

Holy Lord Do I Have A Gripe

And this personal gripe is with the sheer amount of ads that have been cropping up lately using Adobe's Flash Player 10. It isn't really the ads themselves that I have issue with, I can accept the fact that they're there, and that I can just as easily ignore them as I can click on them (which, let's face it, who's going to do that?)


No, the problem here, is the fact that they eat system resources as if they were candy coated candy dipped in even more candy, topped with powdered sugar. 


I watched a few videos over at cinemassacre.com (James Rolfe is a genius) and when certain ads popped up on the screen (the specific set of circumstances being that two Sprint ads popped up at the exact same time) my system resources when watching the video went from somewhere around 4%, which is the norm when I just have Chrome open, to somewhere between 75 and 80%. 


This is outrageous.


I cannot believe that Adobe's programming (or perhaps it's Sprint's) would be so atrocious that it would absolutely suck up my system's resources so horribly that it would go from nearly unused, to nearly full in the span of a mouse-click.


Is anyone else having this issue at all with any sort of Adobe product? I've seen a bug report regarding such (specifically this one: https://bugs.adobe.com/jira/browse/FP-806) if you're a part of the Adobe forums, please vote for this bug to be fixed. 


I know I can't be the only one who's really pissed about this.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

I've got to say, while it escaped my radar the first time it came out, I had a chance to play the demo of probably the most terrifying game I've come into contact with in a long time. 

It's called Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and I have to say that, if you enjoy the survival-horror line of gaming, give it a try. I warn you now, however, I do not recommend playing it with the lights off or at night, and it's a very different gameplay experience than the traditional survival-horror we're all used to (Resident Evil, Silent Hill, etc.)

Allowing the website of Frictional Games, creators of Amnesia to speak for itself, "Amnesia: The Dark Descent, [is] a first-person survival-horror [game]. A game about immersion, discovery and living through a nightmare. An experience that will chill you to the core."

The game lives up to every single one of those points, and that was just from the demo. 

You play throughout the game as Daniel, a man who awakens in the dim, silent corridor of Brennenburg Castle with a true case of (yes, I know) amnesia. Amnesia parallels Memento in some ways in that Daniel has apparently left notes for himself in the form of various diary entries and scraps of paper scattered throughout the halls of Brennenburg Castle.

The story itself is very easy to be swept into, and you'll be able to take it in by reading everything you come across. You'll find a tale wrapped in the claustrophobic halls of this horrific castle. Poor Daniel is hunted relentlessly by shadowy beings that will chill you to the very core. 

I won't ruin the game any further, suffice to say, this dark and terrifying tale will have you riveted to your seat from the getgo, and the only thing you'll crave is more.

Have fun, my fellow thrill-seekers, Amnesia: The Dark Descent is not one to miss.

Baggage Fees, but Free Wifi?

After getting on a plane at MCO this afternoon, I realized something was rather amiss at Delta Airlines, and I imagine a lot of other airlines have this strange incongruity, as well.


Delta Airlines has a $25 baggage fee for each bag checked at the terminal, but the plane I stepped on had free wifi for the entire flight.


My only question is: What?


While I certainly won't complain about free wifi, which allowed me to play my favorite text-based MUD in flight (Threshold), it still struck me as a completely ludicrous incongruity. Why would they charge $25 for a baggage fee, but could've easily charged for 30 minute increments for their wifi?


I know this isn't my normal posting grounds (considering it is not at all gaming related) but I had to sound off on this just for the sheer mystification I found when I paid the $25 baggage fee (a rip-off, and they're still the lowest price for said fee). 


Either way, airline travel is getting harder and harder to enjoy.

Downloadable Content: Another Way to Eat Money?

Before I start off with this post, let me first say that I do understand that companies make downloadable content after the release of a game to prolong the life of that game. It's a great idea in theory, and sometimes in practice. I like the fact that you can download content that extends the game beyond its originally intended life cycle, and truly enjoy a lot of the DLC that's available.


The problem comes with the price of DLC.

I do understand that companies have to make money from the time and effort they expend on downloadable content. The problem that I have is the fact that the DLC is ofttimes so expensive that I wonder why they didn't give us the full game in the first place when they're just going to charge us the price of another game afterwards.


Bethesda is probably the most notorious that I've seen for this. With Fallout 3, they posted five downloadable content packs on XBox Live's Marketplace, PlayStation Store, Games for Windows Live Marketplace and Steam. All of them were selling the DLC for $9.99 apiece. That's a total of $49.95. In Bethesda's credit, all of the packs were pretty excellent, but I don't think the time and effort I spent on them equated to the price of a new game.


The only exception that I've seen (and please correct me if I'm wrong in the comments) is Valve. With their Left 4 Dead series they've thrown out a good amount of downloadable content in the form of extended campaigns. They've given out a few of them for free on the PC, and for as low a cost as possible on the XBox 360. 


This is where Microsoft comes in with a small amount of irritation. If my information (or supposition in this case) is correct, Microsoft takes a cut of every sale on the Marketplace, and they force you to charge a bare minimum price for each and every piece of content that's put up on their Marketplace.


Bottom Line: I don't begrudge companies for trying to make a profit. I just think that there should be an option to not have to charge at all for some of the items that are put up there, and to not have to pay the price for a full game... twice.

Gaming Insights Games: Barren Labyrinth

Hello readers!


It appears I have an announcement to make. With the founding of this blog, I've decided to start my own actual gaming company: Gaming Insights Games. I've been giving this a lot of thought, especially since I've finished my Senior Project, and created my own game: Barren Labyrinth.


I'm pretty pumped with this! If you want to give it a try, I'll post a link.


Barren Labyrinth

EDIT:


Due to commented requests, I'm including a few screenshots, and an overview of Barren Labyrinth.


Overview:


As Barren Labyrinth was a project for my senior year, and I only had six weeks to develop it, it is a very simple game. You are the "Hero," and your job is to thwart the plans of Madron the Mad by solving the Barren Labyrinth, solve each of Madron's riddles, and take all of Madron's scattered fortune in the labyrinthine tunnels so that he cannot fund any further schemes. 


The object of the game is simply to collect all of the gems and crosses scattered around the labyrinth and get the highest score possible. Scattered Gems are worth 100 points, Gold Crosses are 300, and Massive Diamonds are 500. Each riddle correctly answered is worth 1000.


The game was created using Game Maker 8 over the course of 6 weeks.


I've attached a couple of screenshots below that show the main menu and some gameplay.


Screenshots: 

Main Title Screen

First Floor

An Open Letter to Nintendo

Dear Nintendo,

3D for a handheld system, Nintendo? Really?

In case you haven't had your head in the gaming news realm, Nintendo has announced and made prototypes for their new 3DS, a handheld 3D gaming system. While this isn't nearly as bad as celluloid abortions that are known as 3D Movies, it's still annoying to me that this 3D trend doesn't seem to want to go away.

As the warning shows in the above link, the 3D does NOT show up in the YouTube link, but you can actually see the sort of color distortion that's visible within the video itself.

Since I haven't played the system, and haven't really seen it in action, I'll reserve full judgement. But at the same time, I'm still exceedingly hesitant to take a look at a system that will likely have just about all of the annoyances of 3D on the big screen, just that it'll be minus the glasses.

As I've said in my previous post, 3D has given me personally a great deal of headache. Not only myself, but there are a few links in there that denote that I'm not the only one who has problems with 3D.

I just find that this 3D trend is an abomination on good taste and it'll just lead to more and more bull that will reaffirm this 3D trend.

I just can't wait until it dies again. Judging by the list that I'd linked to on my last post, it should only be another... ten years...

Damn.

Sincerely,

-Paul Clewell

P.S. KNOCK IT OFF WITH THE STUPID GIMMICKS ALREADY. GIVE US NORMAL CONTROLS. (This might be cause for another letter...)

An Open Letter to Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

I hate James Cameron's Avatar.

There, I said it. It seems that I'm among the minority here, but I truly do loathe movies that are intended for the (once again) popular trend of creating 3D movies.

Some of you who were alive back in the late 80's and early 90's may remember that 3D is not a new idea. The idea and practice behind 3D movies has been around since 1903, and was popularized in the 1950's. It faded out of style once again in the late 60's and early 70's, with only a few films released in that time period. It once again gained popularity in the 80's and 90's, and once again fell off the grid.

Now James Cameron has once again put 3D on the map.

I confess, I kind of hate him for it. 3D for me, personally, and for a lot of other people, has been a massive headache, and a definite pain in the neck in order to fit on those ridiculous 3D glasses.

The 3D effects have never been impressive for me. They've done nothing to tickle my fancy, and have been rather lackluster, and even having seen James Cameron's film, I still remain unimpressed and annoyed that the trend of 3D films is back.

All I think to myself is: Great, another rash of films I can't watch.

In short, please stop this horrifying trend and continue to make films that aren't geared towards a stupid gimmick that'll just die in another few years.

Thanks Hollywood,
-Paul

HULK SMASH KEYBOARD!

I know this is not at all gaming or internet news related, but I have to share this story of what happened last night at work.

I work at a retail store here in Florida (I won't name the store) and last night, I was closing with my manager, who we will call "Manager Awesome," and it had already been a long day full of crap customers who don't seem to want to  stop being massive idiots who cannot seem to keep their thoughts straight, or their annoying mouths shut.

At this point (around 5:30PM, I'd started shift at 1PM) a man, we'll call him "Hulk," came in holding a keyboard tucked under his arm and walked directly up to my manager, and thrust the keyboard into my managers hands.

"Thanks," my manager said, looking more than a little confused, "I'm not sure why you gave me a gift, but hey."

"I'd like you to exchange it," Hulk said.

"Do you have a receipt?"

"No," Hulk replied, "but I do have the warranty that your sales guy sold me."

"Well," Manager Awesome replied, "there's a phone number on the back that you're supposed to call if the keyboard's not working."

SMASH! Hulk, in an overreaction to top all other overreactions, spiked the keyboard on the floor as if it were a football and he'd just scored the game-winning touchdown. The Escape key landed on the desk I was working behind, about 10 yards away.

"I WANT MY [bleep!]ING KEYBOARD! I SPENT MY HARD EARNED [bleep!]ING MONEY ON YOUR [bleep!]ING PLAN JUST SO I COULD [bleep!]ING AVOID THIS [bleep!]ING [bleep!]!"

Manager Awesome looked at the man and calmly replied, "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm sure we can resolve this if you'll just calm down.

Five minutes of Hulk screaming and shouting, turning beet red in the face in the exertion, and Manager Awesome finally told him...

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY STORE!" 

The entire world where I work stopped.

If we thought that Hulk was shouting loudly, Manager Awesome was cranked up to 11. And finally, Hulk left the store. 


A few moments later, I walked up to Manager Awesome, handed him the Escape key and said, "Here. You need some Escape."

Moral of the Story: Even if you think you're the Incredible Hulk, and you smash a keyboard and throw a temper tantrum trying to get your way... Manager Awesome will still tell you to piss off.

I've also posted a fun picture of the aftermath of the poor, blameless, innocent keyboard.

Please, folks. Don't abuse your keyboards.
They're innocent.

$300 For a Blog

An article over at The Escapist has recently been posted regarding the city of Philadelphia's new policy charging bloggers in their city $300 for a "business privilege license."


What?


Are you honestly going to tell me that the city of Philadelphia is that poor that they have to take money from people who may not be even trying to make any sort of substantial money from their blogs. Mind you, this $300 is only charged to those who have chosen to incorporate ads in their blogs, but still, this fee is charged regardless of whether or not you make any sort of substantial money. It could be only a few dollars, or a few hundred dollars per year, but that seems irrelevant to Philly.


What could've possibly been going through the minds of lawmakers when they put this gem through the legislative process? Is Philly that hard up for cash that they're going to charge people who may not even have a full-time job $300 freaking dollars for a license to speak their minds?
This may not be a contention of free speech so much as it is the money that is made from that speech, but still, this is a "labor of love" as The Escapist writer called it. It's a place where you can voice your frustration and anger about a certain topic without repercussions. This is a place of sanctuary where we can fire off our opinions in order to blow off steam. It's therapeutic for crying out loud, and you're going to charge people $300 for that?


I should mention that there also is, included in this license fee, a "pay wage tax, business privilege tax and a net profits tax," all on what could possibly only be a few dollars in a year. There is also a "proposed update" regarding the law that would eliminate the tax on the first $100,000 of profit brought in, but the bloggers involved are still required to purchase a license. There's also a slap in the face of a "$50 yearly plan" that the (I assume) mildly retarded City Councilor Bill Green suggested bloggers pay instead.


I cannot believe that a city has sunk so low as to start charging for ad revenue to a blog that may not even be about the damn money.


I know one thing's for sure, I'm not moving to Philly anytime soon.

The Laughability of "Mature"

Recently, I was combing through the Kotaku archives, and I found an interesting article regarding a study published in the U.S. Pediatrics Journal back in May 2009. It detailed that "giving a video game a mature rating makes it 'unspeakably desirable' to children." This got me to thinking, "Why do we even bother with making a rating system at all if the kids are just going to find a way to get the mature games anyway?"


Before you jump the gun in the comments section and blast me for saying that the ratings of the games are useless (and I'm not so sure that they aren't) hear me out. When you look at the game's ESRB rating, and see that big, honking M sitting there, aren't you thinking you may have found a decent game? Maybe even the "T" for Teen has tickled your fancy once or twice. This "forbidden fruit" angle that the Kotaku article explored depicted the study as a "foregone conclusion," and that the study's findings, "surprise(d) no one." 


The original idea behind the ESRB was to rate video games based on the maturity level of the content that the game held within. Having a game with gratuitous violence, gore, nudity, drug and alcohol use (and abuse) would obviously fall into the "Mature" category. Violence, drug and alcohol reference and the like would fall under the "Teen" category, and so on. But there's a rather large flaw with this system: The kids are playing the games anyway, regardless of this ban on the sale of Mature games to minors.


I suppose the point of this post is the fact that kids are going to play these games regardless of the Mature or Teen ratings barring them from purchasing the games in the first place. They'll receive them as gifts from parents, aunts, uncles, or people who just plain don't know any better, or even care. Why do we bother with a rating system that doesn't prevent anything except a minor inconvenience of having to receive the game via a middle man?


I've been playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 since a month after the game came out, and whenever I had my headphones (and sound) on, I heard the voice chat of at least one boy that sounded as if he hadn't hit puberty yet. At least one I heard sounded like he was maybe eight.


It's disconcerting to think that these children are able to freely roam the ultraviolence of Modern Warfare 2, trying to impress the older generation by calling them all sorts of filthy, vile things, and cursing with abandon. I'm not sure if it's bad parenting, a poor enforcement of ratings at the stores, perhaps an archaic ratings system or a mixture of the three.


I suppose my point is rather selfish in nature but: I'm pretty sure just about everyone would like to play these mature games without a shrill voice shouting in our ears that we're "hacking c*nts."

A Particular Annoyance

Thanks for taking a look at my page, it's been a while since I've posted on this blog, and I hope to start posting with a sense of regularity. When I first started this blog, I was trying to create a review column out of thin air. After one review, I gave up, and didn't come back for three years. But, now I'm back and I'd like to share my views on the world of gaming today, and just my view in general.

Today I've got a topic which is of a particular irritation for me. I hope not to be ranting too much in my later posts, but today's has hit a little close to home.

Recently I asked a woman out on a date. During that date, while we were getting to know each other over a cup of coffee, I asked if she enjoyed playing video games, and I was met with an astonished, and very disgusted stare. "Video games? I'm not a kid anymore. Grow up." And she left.

It's been more and more apparent that you still can't call yourself a "Gamer" without some sort of social pariah status being attached to the label. As stated in David Wong's article over at Cracked, 5 Reasons It's Still Not Cool To Admit You're A Gamer, there's still that stereotype of the "lonely virgin" sitting in our rooms, playing our "little games."

But that's really not the most accurate portrayal of gamers today. The typical gamer is not just a sixteen year old boy who has all the social graces of a rabid wolverine who's high on angel dust. On average, the gaming age has raised significantly to the 25 - 40 age group.

I'm twenty-seven years old, and I feel like that I'm still being treated like I've the emotional maturity of a seventeen year old. The most successful, recent games that I can think of (Mass Effect 2 and God of War 3, for example) include scenes of sexual nature. Yes, Mass Effect 2 does have censored nudity, but the point remains that there's a central plot toward a romance that culminates in a very pervasive sexual scene.

God of War 3 is even worse than this, at least BioWare had the decorum to censor the scene. God of War 3 doesn't even bother. (WARNING: STRONG sexual content and a lot of nudity.)

Yes, I know I'm making the same point that David Wong makes in his article, but the point remains the same. We've been put down as disgusting perverts who like nothing more than to watch a pair of women so overcome with their sexual desires that they just attack one another. (Yes, that happens almost exactly as I described in the above video.)

While I can have a puerile, dirty mind on occasion, I'd like to think I can shake the "lonely gamer" and the "social pariah with an almost paralyzing fixation on boobs" status.

There's also the fact that a lot of the games have, at best, a plot from a late 80's action movie: Man against a sea of faceless adversaries. A wind-up toy with guns. Load him up and watch him kill. It's almost disturbing that we can't have a decent story in video games. While it isn't the most paramount thing, I'd like to think I can enjoy a story and still be a gamer.

Even the critically hailed Alan Wake still can't seem to shake this shtick. The titular character faces a sea of "taken" people, killing everything in his path in order to rescue his wife. Yes, it plays out like a movie, and that's progress, but it's still not enough.

My whole point? We've grown up, why can't video games do the same?

Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin

Title: Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin
Genre: Action/RPG
System: Nintendo DS


Backstory: (Straight from the instruction booklet) The year is 1944. The world is filled with chaos. The second global war holds the entire world in its grip of terror, creating hatred and fear along with countless numbers of lost souls. The agony and hatred of these souls summon the castle of evil. The castle that has appeared many times throughout history only to bring terror and destruction upon its surroundings, the castle of the dark lord, Dracula... The demonic castle.


This game marks the most recent installment of the Castlevania saga of games, and, in my opinion, is probably up there with Castlevania: Symphony of the Night in sheer fun factor. The story is pretty healthy, as it always is with a Castlevania game. You take control of two characters in this game and switch liberally throughout.


Jonathan Morris - "Wielder of the legendary whip, 'Vampire Killer.' A hot-headed, energetic young man, but has confidence, poise and a sense of humor. At times, this makes him seem like he's not taking things seriously. But when it really counts, he can be very clever. His most common answer to things: "No problem."


Jonathan isn't the typical hero of Castlevania games, not being a Belmont, but that doesn't stop him from being an amusingly violent, and cool hero. Able to wield multiple types of weapons, as with the other DS Castlevania games, there's only one problem with Jonathan: He can't really wield the Vampire Killer, since he is not of the Belmont lineage. That doesn't stop him from being quite a badass when it comes to fighting off the hordes of undead and demonic creatures in Dracula's Castle. But, of course, what would a Castlevania hero be without a little backup?


Charlotte Aulin - "Grew up with Jonathan. Intelligent, but is a little too confident in her book smarts. Talks a lot, and sticks her nose into others' business. She takes a logical approach to everything so she comes off as unemotional. Has great magic power, and is seen as the potential final weapon in the battle against Dracula."


Charlotte is mouthy, opinionated and intelligent. All the things that make a woman such a threat. Charlotte is a very great mage, and uses actual books for weapons. Well, she uses her magical ability to enhance knowledge contained within the books as a weapon. For example, Don Quixote sprouts out the fabled knight himself and sticks his spear into the enemies. Entertaining, to say the least! Charlotte is definitely a force to be reckoned with, especially teamed with Jonathan, which brings me to the next point.


Portrait of Ruin brings a refined concept of the Partner system into the mix. Switching liberally between Charlotte and Jonathan is definitely a viable option, as it was with Dawn of Sorrow's characters, but with a major added twist: Partner Attacks. You start off with no Partner Attack skills, but you collect a few very early on. Partner attacks are lethal, but just suck your mana bar dry.


Now, on to the baddies.


Brauner - "A vampire who lost his daughters thirty years ago, and had his magic powers awakened by Dracula's castle. Revived Dracula's castle by collecting tortured souls of those who died in World War II. His goal is to destroy humans who have yet again started war."


Brauner is the main villain of Portrait of Ruin, skewing from the traditional Dracula-oriented villainy. I won't ruin any of the game for you readers, but I'll say this: Brauner is very much the villain.


Stella - "The older of the twin vampire sisters. Has a flashy, aggressive personality. Looks down on humans condescendingly. Is skilled with physical attacks."


Stella is, frankly, a bitch. One of Brauner's twin daughters, Stella is the loud-mouth of the twins. The brash, disturbingly busty woman, Stella is one vampire I want to slap around with a riot glove.


Loretta - "The younger of the twin vampire sisters. Her physical appearance is a little plain, and she is intelligent, rational and unemotional. Looks down on humans, like her sister. Is skilled at magical attacks."


Loretta may be a cold, emotionless vampire, but that doesn't stop her from being a bitch. That's all I really have to say about Loretta, except for one thing: She's really got to ditch the bonnet.


On to the gameplay: Portrait of Ruin is the typical fast-paced Castlevania game. Combining the host of enemies on the screen with an arsenal of weapons and magic that would make all three Lord of the Rings films green with penis envy, Castlevania is hardly a game you'll want to put down.


Portrait of Ruin combines the classical, bash-the-hell-out-of-any-baddie-in-range with the beautiful music that has made the Castlevania franchise so popular. The musical score may be digitized 'synth' but it's still quite addictive and adds to the atmosphere of the game.


The gameplay and storyline itself consists of Jonathan and Charlotte making their way through the maze that is Dracula's Castle, but with quite a few changes made to it. Brauner has weaved several spells around the castle through his magical paintings which Jon and Charlotte must enter and defeat the bosses of in order to weaken Brauner's control over the castle and sink Dracula's castle back into the shadowy realm from whence it came. The controls are very similar to Dawn of Sorrow with the exception of not having to trace out a pattern with the stylus in order to banish an enemy to the nether realms. Just a straight forward bash and smash style to put down the bosses of each level.


Overall, I honestly think that Portrait of Ruin is a great addition to the Castlevania storyline, and explores a storyline that definitely has me gripped.


Story: 9.5/10
Gameplay/Controls: 9/10
Sound/Music: 9/10
Replayability: 8/10
Overall: 9/10


Don't miss out on this game if you have a DS. Definitely worth the money.